Ramblings of a Pukka Tukka Wobbler

Put out the fire!!

2007-06-20T23:34:00.000+08:00

Thanks bro, for this photo.

For those of you who always wanted to be a firefighter but had to choose another career path due to parental objections, peer pressure etc, do not lose hope! A firefighter you can still be! In your own little way, that is.....

This brave fireman is going to bed
Down on the pillow he lays his head
Wraps himself in his blanket tight
And plans to sleep this way all night
But the fire alarm rings!
He opens his eyes!
Quickly he's dressed and down the pole he slides
He climbs on the truck to go, go, go!

Whoosh! and the fire is out
Relief once more is restored!

Even better than a fly in the loo

2007-06-02T12:08:00.000+08:00

Yes, it has been a long time. On my last trip to Frankfurt, I chanced on a urinal which is even better than the "fly in the loo" urinal. This is for all golf diehards... ready for this? It is a "hole with a flag stick" urinal..

Okay, okay, it is not as though there is a physical flag stick that sticks out of the drainage hole, which will make ahem, you know what, a bit of a challenge not to mention almost impossible... but at least it is close to it. The idea is the same to aid in the aiming. Also, do note that there is no offset, unlike that in the "fly in the loo" which is off-set to the left. We golfers can aim straight! See for yourself!

The Twilight Zone in Broad Daylight!

2005-09-01T22:15:00.000+08:00

Strange happenings seem common these days....bro and I were on our way home and driving (we kept to the speed limit as all good drivers are) along Changi Coastal Road when suddenly from nowhere, a grey toyota zooms past and overtook us.

There was something amiss about this car. Something which seems not normal.....more para-normal if you ask me... something so mysterious that you get goose bumps just at the very sight and all this happening in broad daylight!... There is no one driving the car!! Believe you me pictures don't lie....

Travel travel....

2005-06-29T22:56:00.000+08:00

Hey look!! There is a fly in my loo!!

2005-06-22T23:42:00.000+08:00

What would you do when you see a fly in your pee loo?? Will you attempt to shoot it and try to drown it? You tell me......

My first encounter with this was when I was at Schipol Airport in Amsterdam couple of months back. This is how it looks like.....(photo courtesy of Fly UI)

And so far, now one has been able to give me a satisfactory answer as to why the fly is off-centred to the left?? If you say it is for the benefit of right-handed pee-ers...what about those who are left-handed?? hmmm what say you??

For a more detailed treatment of this subject, click on the following link....you will be surprised at the amount of research that has gone into this subject.... Fly UI

Have fun!

Confederation Cup?!

2005-06-19T15:07:00.000+08:00

I was just in Frankfurt recently and the Confederation Cup fever seemed to have spread everywhere, even into the most 'personal' area of the male's bastion - the urinals. I was amused and somewhat fascinated by the creativity of the people who placed the 'football' pitches there.

Each comes complete with a green pitch (meshed and porous as you don't want a flooded pitch do you?), a goal post (for you to get the ball into) and a suspended red ball (for you to aim at...what else?). The aim is to get the ball into the goal post....and how you get it in bearing in mind the rules of football or in this case pee-ball, you should have got the drift by now (if not, give me a call and I will explain). What is also interesting is that the red ball is made of a thermal plastic and turns white when it gets warm. This definitely beats having to use a urino-analysis stick to find out what's wrong with you :-). While it is a challenge having to keep aim (tho some may disagree) at this suspended non-stationary ball, it sure beats having to drown a small static fly (who refuse to drown) printed in some urinals and most of all it is great fun!!

In our drive to get our toilets clean and dry, do you think this will help? At the same time, it has been proven that a constantly engaged mind is good in preventing Alzheimers.

Happy Father's Day

2005-06-12T10:33:00.000+08:00

Father's day is next Sunday. To my dad and my friends (esp Bro).. you are all wonderful fathers! This special blessing is dedicated to you to keep you in good health, encourage you in your difficulties, give you joy in your sadness and give you strength in whatever you do.

A BLESSING FOR FATHERS

We bless you and we praise you, God of our fathers!

You are the God of Adam, Father of the human family.

You are the God of Abraham, our father in faith who was ready and willing to give up everything to be faithful to you.

You are the God of Isaac, who was born of laughter and old age, and the God of Jacob, whose clever trick gained an inheritance for twelve tribes of sons and daughters.

You are the God of Jesse, whose loins a nation sprang, a study family tree of monarchs, prophets and priests.

You are the God and Father of Israel, your child whom You love with all Your heart.

You are the God of Zechariah, who fathered the Baptist and taught him the Torah, and of Joachim, the grandfather of Jesus.

You are the God of Joseph, who loved and raised Jesus as his own.

You are the God and Father of Jesus, and our Father in Heaven, too. Holy is Your Name!

We thank you, God, for the gift of our fathers, grandfathers and godfathers, and father-in-laws, too.

Send your Holy Spirit upon our fathers, in whose laps we were cradled, on whose knees we were bounced, by whose hands we were fed, instructed, at times corrected, in whose company we learned to work and play and pray, at whose side we heard your word and celebrated your mysteries.

Heal their pains and disappointments.

Forgive all that needs to be forgiven.

Give them the good that they have given others.

Welcome into Your arms those who have died.

Fill this world, O God, with a father's love!

We ask this through your Son, Jesus Christ, who taught us to pray to You as Abba. He lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, who is Father of the poor, one God forever and ever. AMEN

Primary School Math?...I say not....

2005-05-26T20:53:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered what is being tested in Primary school math? I had a look at my nephew's math exam paper and boy, was I shocked!! I did not know that such mind boggling questions can be asked using simple mathematical concepts. Considering that a primary 6 kid will have to solve such questions (50 questions of various types) in 2 hours....I would have flunked math in primary school.

Let's face it, algebraic structures and group theory are nothing compared to this....it really got me stumped trying to solve such seemingly innocent questions. I had to enlist the help of bro...both of us did some reverse engineering aka algebra and try to engineer an answer using the model method to no avail...btw, bro if you are reading this, you still owe me the math homework :-)

If you still don't believe me, have a go at the following questions. Remember, you are not suppose to use any calculus nor simultaneous questions...

1. John and Rick were competing in a race. John completed the race in 4 hours. Rick covered only 4/5 of the route in that time. If Rick's average speed was 2 km/h less than John's, find the length of the route.
[My answer: do I really care how long the route is?? As far as I am concern, Rick lost the race!]

2. Farmer Lim has some animals on his farm. The ratio of the number of chickens to the number of cows was 3:2. The ratio of the number of horses to that of chickens was 1:2.
(a) What fraction of the animals were horses? [My answer: do I really want to know?]
(b) When some of the chickens died of bird flu, Farmer Lim bought 20 more horses and had 2 times as many cows as chickens left. If he had a total of 50 animals, how many chickens died? [My answer: You got to be joking!! Frankly, if you ask me, I think Farmer Lim had better start looking at doing something else besides farming...]

3. Mr Chen bought 4 times as many wallets as bags. He spent $2100 altogether. A bag cost $10 more than a wallet. The total cost of wallets was $780 more than the total cost of bags. Find the cost of a bag. [My answer: Ask Mr Chen. He should know. He bought the wallets and bags!]

So you see what I mean. Is it realistic that our primary school kids are made to solve such math questions??

IN or ON? The wonders of the English Language..sigh

2005-05-19T20:49:00.000+08:00

B, my bro's 9 year old son was asked the following question during his recent English MCQ Exam:

She sat _____________ the rear seat of the car.

(1) in

(2) at

(3) on

(4) by

I chose answer (3) as I reasoned that one sits ON a seat. But the answer from the teacher was (1) IN!!! I believe the use of "ON" or "IN" is very much based on the context of the situation and the items involved, and that there are some situations where both could be acceptable. When questioned, the following was the teacher's reasoning:

"The correct answer to the question is 'IN'. (ref: Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English, Pg 1477). This is due to a strict collocaton of words with respect to the word 'seat' that restricts it to the preposition 'in'. Incidentally, we also say that someone is shot 'in' the leg and not 'on' the leg." ....huh? say what??!!

Now, would you accept such an answer or for that matter, are convinced with the explanation given? More importantly, how do you simplify the explanation for a 9 year old boy?? Together with bro, I posed the above grammar question to some friends and here are the results (strangely, the reponses also provides a glimpse of how different man and woman think...I leave it to you to figure it out :-)):

A poll of 4 Female ENGLISH teachers:

1. "Depends on what you mean. Sit in the rear is better unless you want to emphasise the buttocks on the seat which would require sit on the rear. Technically "on" is accepted but practically and in popular usage it is sit "in" the rear seat. (it strays off here when this question was asked: "When did you find a p3 child i thought Ivor(my nephew) is Pri 6.)" CONCLUSION: "IN"

2. "In. Because the seat is 'in' something and therefore enclosed. At least that's my reason. (Again, here it strays off with the question: How are you?)" CONCLUSION: "IN"

3. "Longman's Dictonary of English Language & Culture gives examples that 'He sat down on/in the nearest available seat' as correct. Which means either also can. But they also go on further to say that 'She got into / sat in the front/back seat of the car' is also correct. So what does it tell me? Both also can. This means that the question is flawed. It has two answers." CONCLUSION: "IN" and "ON" are both correct.

4. "I prefer 'in' but the dictionary gave two varying uses : 'sat in the back seat of a car' and 'placed her bag on the back seat of a car'. Sounds like in is more correct. Incidentally it should be called the back seat and not the rear seat; to use rear, it should be 'she sat in the rear of the car'. I believe you sit in a seat but sit on a chair." CONCLUSION: "IN" but a little confused...

A poll of 5 MALE Colleagues (including bro):
1. "'ON'. You sit ON a seat....you don't sit IN a seat???" CONCLUSION: "ON"
2. "Hmmm 'ON'?". CONCLUSION: "ON"
3. "Definitely ON". CONCLUSION: "ON"
4. "'ON'. Good question to ask my wife". CONCLUSION: "ON"
5. " 'ON'. Why do you always get such questions?". CONCLUSION: "ON"

You might also like to check out the quiz on the following website (question number 5) that has a similar question as was set, but the answer given was "on".

http://esl.about.com/library/quiz/blgrquiz_prep1.htm

Is there somekind of rule that could be used, for example in spelling we say " 'i' before 'e' except after 'c' "? What do you say? Any suggestions?

As if the above is not confusing enough...bro sent me the following article... http://www.ucs.louisiana.edu/~mif8232/FeistGentner03.pdf
There is an actual article written about ON and IN!!

By the way, GodPa used the word "proletarian"during a meeting today!! And in case you are bored, try saying "authenticity" and "ethnicity" aloud and in the same breath. Have fun!!

Vocabulary Today....

2005-05-15T12:37:00.000+08:00

Okie...We move to vocabulary today. Here are some of my favourite words, which doesn't necessary describe me. I trust that my friends reading this can vouch for me?

faineant \fay-nay-AWN\, adjective:

Doing nothing or given to doing nothing; idle; lazy.

noun:
A do-nothing; an idle fellow; a sluggard.

According to Felipe Fernandez-Armesto, Charles II was no faineant half-wit but a conscientious and reflective king.
--David Gilmour, "The falsity of 'true Spain,'" The Spectator, July 22, 2000
Faineant is from French, from Middle French fait, "does" + néant, "nothing."

pukka, also pucka \PUHK-uh\, adjective:

1. Authentic; genuine.
2. Good of its kind; first-class.

He talks like the quintessential pukka Englishman and quotes Chesterton and Kipling by the yard and yet he has chosen to live most of his adult life abroad.
--Lynn Barber, "Bell, book . . . and then what?" The Observer, August 27, 2000

If he does not have a house, the government gives him a pukka residence, not a . . . shack on the pavement but a solid construction.
--Salman Rushdie, The Ground Beneath Her Feet

Pukka comes from Hindi pakka, "cooked, ripe," from Sanskrit pakva-, from pacati, "he cooks."

indurate \IN-dur-it; -dyur-\, adjective:

Physically or morally hardened; unfeeling; stubborn.

\IN-dur-ayt; -dyur-\, transitive verb:
1. To make hard; to harden.
2. To harden against; to make hardy; to habituate.
3. To make hardened; to make callous or stubborn.
4. To establish; to fix firmly.

intransitive verb:
1. To grow hard; to harden.
2. To become established or fixed.

But "hard cheeses indurate, soft cheeses collapse." (Flaubert's Parrot). People don't change, they set in.
Indurate is derived from the past participle of Latin indurare, from in-, intensive prefix + durare, "to harden," from durus, "hard."

spoonerism \SPOO-nuh-riz-uhm\, noun:

The transposition of usually initial sounds in a pair of words.

Some examples:
We all know what it is to have a half-warmed fish ["half-formed wish"] inside us.
The Lord is a shoving leopard ["loving shepherd"].
It is kisstomary to cuss ["customary to kiss"] the bride.
Is the bean dizzy ["dean busy"]?
When the boys come back from France, we'll have the hags flung out ["flags hung out"]!
Let me sew you to your sheet ["show you to your seat"].
Lunder and Tightning ["Thunder and Lightning"].

Spoonerism comes from the name of the Rev. William Archibald Spooner (1844-1930), a kindly but nervous Anglican clergyman and educationalist. All the above examples were committed by (or attributed to) him.

The Moon....

2005-05-10T22:11:00.000+08:00

Memories of school.....poetry class.....sigh...

The Moon

THE MOON has a face like the clock in the hall;
She shines on thieves on the garden wall,
On streets and fields and harbour quays,
And birdies asleep in the forks of the trees.

The squalling cat and the squeaking mouse,	5
The howling dog by the door of the house,
The bat that lies in bed at noon,
All love to be out by the light of the moon.

But all of the things that belong to the day
Cuddle to sleep to be out of her way;	10
And flowers and children close their eyes
Till up in the morning the sun shall arise. Stevenson, Robert Louis (1850–1894). A Child’s Garden of Verses and Underwoods. 1913.

Mother's Day....

2005-05-08T22:57:00.000+08:00

Today is Mother's Day and for what we are, we always have our mothers to be thankful for....

A BLESSING FOR MOTHERS

We bless you and we praise you, God of our mothers!

You are the God of Eve, Mother of all the living.

You are the God of Sarah, who laughed at childbearing in old age.

You are the God of Rebekah, who favoured her second-born, Jacob.

You are the God of Leah, mother of tribes, and of Rachel, who mourned and wrestled and won.

You are the God of Hannah, who strongly sang your praise for Samuel, and of Naomi, who faithfully walked with Ruth.

You are the God of Elizabeth, who bore the Baptist, and of Ann, the grandmother of Jesus.

You are the God of Mary, Spirit’s spouse and mother of our Saviour, given by Christ on the cross to be the mother of us all.

We thank you, God, for the gift of our mothers, for grandmothers and godmothers and mothers-in-law, too.

Send your Holy Spirit upon our mothers, at whose breasts we were fed, by whose hands we were cleaned and clothed, at times corrected, in whose laps we learned to sing and speak and play and pray, at whose side we heard your word and celebrated your mysteries.

Heal their pains and disappointments.

Forgive all that needs to be forgiven.

Give to them the good that they have given others.

Welcome into Your arms those who have died.

Fill this world, O God, with a mother’s love!

We ask this through your Son, Jesus Christ, who gathers us together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever. AMEN